导语：英语学习的过程中，我们总是能遇到很多言辞优美，语句华丽的文章。除此之外，还有很多的诙谐幽默故事出现，所以学习英语其实有时候也是很享受的一件事。以下是小编为大家精心整理的英语幽默故事欣赏，欢迎大家参考！
1、I can't let him get away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
翻译：不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
2、The Two Men
A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum. They came across one individual in the grounds, with wild eyes, dishevelled hair, feverishly endeavouring to catch flies and keep them in his pocket.
His was a sad case, said the attendant. Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man.
Terrible, said a visitor.
Presently they came to a padded cell, in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.
That's the other man, said the attendant.
翻译：难兄难弟
一群游客被领着参观一所疯人院。在院子里他们遇见一个人，他长着一双疯狂的眼睛，头发蓬乱，正狂热地设法逮住苍蝇，把它们装在他的口袋里。
他的病很惨，陪同人说。在他当兵打仗的时候，他的妻子抛下他的家和另一个男人私奔了。
真可怕，一个游客说。
不久他们来到一间安上软垫的小屋前，听见里面传出野兽般的怒吼。
这就是那另一个男人，陪同人说。
3、Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
翻译：安眠 药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠 药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说："我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。"
"好啊!"老板吼道，"那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?"
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