And days and weeks went by， but the nights passed more slowly than the days. TheFLASHing Star beheld him one morning as he rose， pale and trembling with fever， from hissad couch; then he stepped towards the statue， threw back the covering， took one long，sorrowful gaze at his work， and then， almost sinking beneath the burden， he dragged thestatue out into the garden. In that place was an old dry well， now nothing but a hole. Into thishe cast the Psyche， threw earth in above her， and covered up the spot with twigs andnettles.
“Away! begone!” Such was the short epitaph he spoke.
the Star beheld all this from the pink morning sky， and its beam trembled upon two GREattears upon the pale feverish cheeks of the young man; and soon it was said that he was sickunto death， and he lay stretched upon a bed of pain.
the convent Brother Ignatius visited him as aphysician and a friend， and brought him words ofcomfort， of religion， and spoke to him of thepeace and happiness of the church， of thesinfulness of man， of rest and mercy to be found inheaven.
And the words fell like warm sunbeams upon ateeming soil. The soil smoked and sent up clouds ofmist， fantastic pictures， pictures in which therewas reality; and from these floating islands helooked across at human life. He found it vanity anddelusion—and vanity and delusion it had been to him. They told him that art was a sorcerer，betraying us to vanity and to earthly lusts; that we are false to ourselves， unfaithful to ourfriends， unfaithful towards Heaven; and that the serpent was always repeating within us， “Eat， and thou shalt become as God.”
And it appeared to him as if now， for the first time， he knew himself， and had found theway that leads to truth and to peace. In the church was the light and the brightness of God—inthe monk's cell he should find the rest through which the tree of human life might grow on intoeternity.
Brother Ignatius strengthened his longings， and the determination became firm withinhim. A child of the world became a servant of the church—the young artist renounced theworld， and retired into the cloister.
the brothers came forward affectionately to welcome him， and his inauguration was as aSunday feast. Heaven seemed to him to dwell in the sunshine of the church， and to beamupon him from the holy pictures and from the cross. And when， in the evening， at the sunsethour， he stood in his little cell， and， opening the window， looked out upon old Rome，upon the desolated temples， and the GREat dead Coliseum—when he saw all this in its springgarb， when the acacias bloomed， and the ivy was fresh， and roses burst forth everywhere，and the citron and orange were in the height of their beauty， and the palm trees waved theirbranches—then he felt a deeper emotion than had ever yet thrilled through him. The quiet openCampagna spread itself forth towards the blue snow-covered mountains， which seemed to bepainted in the air; all the outlines melting into each other， breathing peace and beauty，floating， dreaming—and all appearing like a dream!
Yes， this world was a dream， and the dream lasts for hours， and may return for hours;but convent life is a life of years—long years， and many years.
From within comes much that renders men sinful and impure. He fully realized the truth ofthis. What flames arose up in him at times! What a source of evil， of that which we wouldnot， welled up continually! He mortified his body， but the evil came from within.
One day， after the lapse of many years， he met Angelo， who recognized him.
“Man!” exclaimed Angelo. “Yes， it is thou! Art thou happy now Thou hast sinned againstGod， and cast away His boon from thee—hast neglected thy mission in this world! Read theparable of the intrusted talent! The MASTER， who spoke that parable， spoke the truth!What hast thou gained What hast thou found Dost thou not fashion for thyself a religion and adreamy life after thine own idea， as almost all do Suppose all this is a dream， a fairdelusion!”
“Get thee away from me， Satan!” said the monk; and he quitted Angelo.
“there is a devil， a personal devil! This day I have seen him!” said the monk to himself. “Once I extended a finger to him， and he took my whole hand. But now，” he sighed， “theevil is within me， and it is in yonder man; but it does not bow him down; he goes abroadwith head erect， and enjoys his comfort; and I grasped at comfort in the consolations ofreligion. If it were nothing but a consolation Supposing everything here were， like the world Ihave quitted， only a beautiful fancy， a delusion like the beauty of the evening clouds， likethe misty blue of the distant hills!—when you approach them， they are very different! Oeternity! Thou actest like the GREat calm ocean， that beckons us， and fills us withexpectation—and when we embark upon thee， we sink， disappear， and cease to be.Delusion! away with it! begone!”
And tearless， but sunk in bitter reflection， he sat upon his hard couch， and then kneltdown—before whom Before the stone cross fastened to the wall No， it was only habit thatmade him take this position.
the more deeply he looked into his own heart， the blacker did the darkness seem.—“Nothing within， nothing without—this life squanderied and cast away!” And this thoughtrolled and GREw like a snowball， until it seemed to crush him.
“I can confide my griefs to none. I may speak to none of the gnawing worm within. Mysecret is my prisoner; if I let the captive escape， I shall be his!”
And the godlike power that dwelt within him suffered and strove.
“O Lord， my Lord!” he cried， in his despair， “be merciful and grant me faith. I threwaway the gift thou hadst vouchsafed to me， I left my mission unfulfilled. I lacked strength，and strength thou didst not give me. Immortality—the Psyche in my breast—away with it!—itshall be buried like that Psyche， the best gleam of my life; never will it arise out of itsgrave!”
the Star glowed in the roseate air， the Star that shall surely be extinguished and passaway while the soul still lives on; its trembling beam fell upon the white wall， but it wrotenothing there upon being made perfect in God， nothing of the hope of mercy， of thereliance on the divine love that thrills through the heart of the believer.