简单幽默英语小故事
简单幽默英语小故事篇一
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”
一个盲人和他的导盲犬站在十字路口上正等着过马路。这时那个一导盲犬把腿抬了起来开始小便，毫无疑问盲人的裤子湿了。但是这个盲人却平静地从口袋里拿出了一块饼干给狗吃。一个过路人对此很不解地说道:“你的脾气真好，那条狗都作了这样的事情你还拿饼干给它。”
"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”
“不是这样的。”盲人回答说:“我只是想知道它的嘴在哪里，这样我就可以踢它的`屁股。”
简单幽默英语小故事篇二
A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.
一位来自大城市的律师在一桩诉讼案中，代表铁路部门同一位老农场主打官司。这个农场主的牛在有铁路的地方不见了。他说牛一定是被火车撞了，所以要求赔偿买牛的钱。
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”
案子先要进行公审，才能被送到法庭后面的会议厅里进行讨论。农场主刚一出现，铁路一方的律师就把他拉到了一旁，想进行庭外和解。最后律师尽其所能，说服了农场主，只支付他所要求赔偿的一半。农场主签完了契约，取走了支票以后，年轻的律师为自己的成功感到得意洋洋。他对农场主说:“老头，你知道吗，我本不想告诉你的，刚才我是吓唬你。我本来赢不了这场官司的，那天早晨当火车穿过你的农场附近的时候，司机睡着了，火夫正在餐车里。我根本找不出一个证人。我是吓唬你的。”
The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”
老农场主说:“我要告诉你，小子，我觉得赢了这场官司，我有一些不安心，因为我那头可爱的牛今天早晨已经回来了。”
简单幽默英语小故事篇三
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
奥斯卡驾驶着自己崭新的奔驰汽车去他最喜爱的体育用品商店。他把车停在了外面，到店里去找经常为他服务的简小姐看一些资料。简是一位非常漂亮的金发女郎。奥斯卡走进店里受到了她热烈的欢迎。奥斯卡提出想先自己转转，再找简帮忙。简同意了。5分钟后，简跑过来大叫着:“奥斯卡，奥斯卡!我刚才看到一个人把你的新奔驰车开走了!”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
“我的天啊!你没叫住他吗?”
"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”
“没有，”简说:“我的方法更好，我记下了他的车牌号。”
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